On Saturday, June 20, after my last softball game of the day, my coach walked up to me and told me that the head coach of Jamestown University (North Dakota) wanted to try to contact me about a possible scholarship down to their school.
Basically what this mens is that in September ... just two short months away, I would pack up my stuff and leave for North Dakota until May. I would leave my family, my friends, my church, my everything.
How do I feel about this? I'm excited, but scared out of my mind. It's super sweet that I'm actually good enough for a scout to want me to play for their team, but... I'm scared. I'm scared of what will become of me after I leave Winnipeg and what I know. My original plan was to leave Winnipeg for 3 months before going to University to pursue a stronger relationship with God down at IHOP, Kansas City. But in reality, by following that path, I wouldn't be straying to far from home because I would still be emersed in a prayer room, just like I am here in Winnipeg.
To be honest, I think that's what I'm scared of the most, is being away from the prayer room. I won't have Sanctuary, and I wouldn't have IHOP. Without either of those ... I don't trust myself to keep pushing in for God. And I won't have friends there to keep me on track ... I'm scared of the unknown, and I'm scared of my own weakness.
I continue to look to God for answers, pleeding for Him to give me guidance; but my mind is blocked by my own thoughts and fears. I know it's kinda soon to make a decision, and I haven't even talked to the coach yet, so I'm going to juggle these thoughts around in my head and close my eyes and wait patiently for that calming whisper in my ear.
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